Tuesday, January 31, 2012

We're all following someone

It's just not me.

So follow me on Twitter, where I:

Discuss my family's symphonic fart performances (and now from the horn section!), dismantle the semantic content on tampon packaging, and generally interfere with the status quo in a variety of engaging and quietly disturbing ways.

It's exactly what your hectic life needs.


Sunday, January 29, 2012

At Home with Haus

Since lifting this sofa like a big dummy, half my body came painfully unhinged from the rest of my body. But that didn't stop me, no sir, from having four teenage boys over. They ate all my food and wedged dirty socks into all the furniture. There are cell phones and iPods charging in every outlet, and I could start a skate shop with the gear they piled in my entry.

They're out now with the Mister, and for some reason I felt like taking pictures. Maybe as a memento of the quiet times?

Morgan took some sweet pictures of my house a while back, but since then there have been some new additions.

Everything in this corner was $5 or less, except the new Target lampshade.

The dining room, post-slumber party. Not too bad, although I do wonder what the hammer was out for? The marble tulip table is a new Craigslist score ($450 if you must know, and if I know you, then I know you must...know). Free of hammer damage as far as I can tell.

You can see a bit of the Franz Kline-inspired painting I did (and still need to frame). Still deciding how to finish the stairs. I'm thinking paint them Hague Blue and install a sisal runner with a chevron weave?

A new piece. Sell? Keep? Keep! No, sell?

Mr. Knightly likes it under the furniture, where giant teenagers can't step on him.

More nook. I love that Deco mirror ($5 at auction), made that cabinet (and was featured on Design*Sponge super way back in the day!), and the oatmeal linen curtains, brass lamp, and antique framed portrait (of a "creepy baby" according to the kids) were thrifted.

There's something charming and slightly Anthropologie-esque about the unfinished stairs, no? Mmmm, no.

These chairs are so old and crusty. I should probably have them swabbed for smallpox.

Rock me like the rock of ages

A new friend for the Danish wall unit, also at the magical price of $5 (I guess at my local AMVETS, when in doubt they put a $4.95 price tag on it?)

I swear I'm going to cut up that rug and wear it, I love the pattern so much.

Doing his "dog on a motorcycle" impersonation.

And you? Fill in the blank: This weekend I __________ !

Monday, January 23, 2012


In my life? My out-of-focus photography? To my excessive sweating problem? All of the above?

Yes, probably.

But really I just wanted to talk about goals and avoid the cliche of made-to-be-broken "resolutions". To me a goal is something you actually see yourself accomplishing in a fixed amount of time. A resolution is more of a vague and easily-broken wish. It's socially acceptable, almost expected, that you break your resolutions, but goals are made of weightier stuff.

All these ladies are coming home from ALT Summit with renewed focus on their goals, and I've certainly been thinking about mine.

"Crap dude, now what??"

Do any of you need to crystalize a professional or business goal for the year? Maybe get some support?

In the spirit of ladies (and my BFF Jonathan) supporting each other, what if we all blog about it and post a link in the comments section below? Reading about how others think through their professional issues and address their obstacles could be really eye-opening. Also, I think a big key to realizing goals is accountability and feedback...if we put it out there, have some conversations about it, and check back in with each other once a month, don't you feel much more likely to stay on task?

Maybe your post could answer these questions, sort of interview style:

- What would you like to accomplish in the next 365 days (professional/business/creative)?

-What are your biggest obstacles?

-How will you overcome them?

- What steps do you need to take to accomplish your goal (try to assemble a 1-year timeline)?

Here are my answers:


Hire a graphic designer to develop a logo and website, and move business from eBay (eBay has been good to me, but there's no real brand recognition or development opportunities on eBay...I'm not really "MODERNHAUS" as long as I'm on eBay, rather just another seller).

Establish some sort of physical presence in San Diego, whether through occasional pop-up sales or a storefront.

Write, paid or unpaid, in some professional capacity.


Not taking myself as seriously as I take everyone else. Oh, I can pump you up like a Nike turkey

and send you out the door convinced that you can no longer deprive the world of your talent. I believe in everyone...I really do. Now how to turn that kind of positive energy onto myself?

Not giving myself the resources to grow or improve (time [to write, think, and create a business plan], money, hired help to enable business expansion).

I feel like I really need to think about my timeline and plan to overcome these obstacles, so I'll post those answers in a day or two.

Please post your answers or link to your blog post in the comments section!

Friday, January 20, 2012


Is it normal to get so excited about ordering one old, used pillow? Probably not. I can't wait to see how it looks on my new (ratty old) black leather Barcelona chair (p.s., the chair and the pillow cost about the same!)

And, possibly way more newsworthy than purchasing a pillow cover is the fact that tomorrow the ridiculously beautiful, recently opened Lautner Hotel lobby:

will become the new home of this piece:

I took a risk on this over-the-top piece, and it paid off. Goes to show you, no guts no Lautner!

Also, hustle your butt over to the shop where these auctions are ending soon:

Thursday, January 19, 2012


FYI, just in case you woodsy Pendleton-wearing hipsters want to hook up with your gritty urban hipster brethren, flights between PDX and LGA (LaGuardia) are only $122 including tax, and you'll earn full mileage credit, etc. .

Bookable on Orbitz right now, make sure to choose the "+/- 3 days" search option to find the best price. I test-booked through February and there is a lot of availability.

You'll earn approximately 5,000 flight miles on this trip, so please make sure you have (or you open) a frequent flyer account with the airline, and book with a points-earning card! Check your credit cards...you just might have one that gives you more than 1 point per dollar when booking travel (and there are lots that do!)

If you think you want to take advantage of this but aren't sure, book it now and then think about it. Orbitz allows you to cancel within 24 hours.

If you book it, be a pal and come back here and let us know!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Desperately seeking pillow

Joslyn's photo jogged my memory (p.s., it's the only part of me that jogs).

Remember this Anthropologie pillow? What? You don't commit every Anthropologie item to memory?

When I saw it, I was immediately reminded of this spectacular painting. Someone with incredible taste owns it...oh, if only I could remember who.

photo by Morgan Satterfield

Oh yeah. It's me. Unkempt bed is the giveaway.

It currently hangs over my bed, and I thought, how crazy that there's a pillow that somehow exactly matches this weird color palette and abstracted design.

I'm super not into matching, but these pieces are like separated twins that need to be reunited.

So, if you happen to have the pillow, or you find it in a random clearance bin at Anthro, or you hang out at Joslyn's house and it happens to find it's way into your bag at the end of the night (I suggest you give her a lot to drink and work with another person to create a distraction), I will pay handsomely.

Thanks a bunch.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


Let's just not even talk about how distraught I am that I can't use these. But you know who's even sadder? Jeff Tweedy. He can't stop thinking about me. He can't believe we won't get to hang out.

See him looking straight at me, like he could just eat me with a spoon? Right??

I have a pair of tickets for the Hollywood Palladium, Tuesday, January 24th, 7pm. They're actual paper tickets from Ticketmaster, with the purchase receipt, etc., just in case you don't trust me yet.

Update: SOLD

Friday, January 13, 2012


These have since sold, but there's more in the shop!

Well hi there! I spent a relaxing morning at the dentist's. No, I'm serious. I got to lay down and it felt SO good. After I twisted my ankle in my stupid Kork-Ease and fell head-first into my new marble tulip table I needed to lay down for a while.

The only problem is I have this super-sweet dentist who says, "Ouch!" just as he's about to do something he thinks is going to hurt me. I appreciate the sympathy but it's so disconcerting. Where do I find these people??

I got $10 balcony tickets for the symphony tonight, a Schumann piano concerto that I love. So there will be more sitting and closing of my eyes, which sounds just perfect (I know, I'm an animal). Besides, the symphony always makes me feel super young. Like, "the old patrons want to pat me on the head" young. IT'S AWESOME.

But this isn't just a link to crazy old posts from my past! No! It's also links to crazy posts about travel!

I wanted to tell you to sign up for TripAlertz here. It's a bargain travel site and it just requires an email to sign up, nothing personal. But the best part is once you join, you'll get a code to invite your friends to join and you'll get a $5 credit for each person that signs up. If you're popular, put up the link on Facebook or Twitter, get 100 people to join, and you'll have enough for a super sweet trip!

Also, did you get gold baby?? I hope you followed the directions I posted here to get instant Gold status at Hilton. Because now Hilton is having three different promotions that you can "stack" or use together to hoard a fat wad of points. No time like now to see what it's like being "elite" at a hotel. Click here for a post that lays out the promotions.

And finally, check out the lovelies in the shop. Place a bid or two. Auctions are fun! And so, so much better than gambling because, hey, if you don't win anything you're also not out any money! However I do NOT serve cocktails to you in a trashy outfit while you bid. So there's that downside...

What kind of merrymaking will you be involved in this long and lovely weekend? Downton Abbey marathon? Going to see The Artist? Laundry? Whatever it is, eat some cheese and enjoy it. Cheers!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Evolution of a diet

I don't know why this always happens. I'll notice I'm gaining a little weight. That evening, I throw a little going away party for cheese (intimate, just the two of us) by toasting a half-pound of it with two glasses of wine, because TOMORROW I'M NOT GOING TO EAT.


This is dumb because usually I can drink coffee all morning and just plain FORGET to eat until 3pm, but after these romantic cheese parties and stalwart anti-eating declarations, I wake up DESPERATE TO EAT.

Last night, not only did I have a cheese party, I had a pear custard pie party, a homemade fried chicken party, and a roasted potato party. They partied late into the night in my stomach while I laid in bed and groaned. Clutching my stomach and making delusional resolutions.

This morning, I suspiciously watched half of a breakfast quesadilla go from crispy-flakey-oozey to greasy-heavy-rubbery, it's pointy end following my movements like a compass arrow. The quesadilla had locked on its target and would not let go until it had successfully launched straight onto my butt.


And it doesn't really count, because it doesn't even look good anymore and anyhow I didn't even make it for myself.

Essential diet tip of the delusional: OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD HAS NO CALORIES.

So I heat it up, but really to get it crisp again the pan needs some butter. And really, this is just all fat and carbs and hadn't I better add half an avocado to it? You know, FOR NUTRITION?

This is when I realize what a small little piece it really was. Barely two bites! And I have to use up the other half of the avocado or isn't it going to go bad?

So I have to go now. The memory of crispy, buttery tortilla, creamy avocado and the slight tang of Tapatio sauce is fading from my tongue.

Tonight I will toast my cheese and try again. After all, "In order to succeed you must first be willing to fail," the saying goes.

I am willing. So very willing.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Guys! Yesterday I was all

Today is more

I mean, right? How accurate is that? So easy to have one bad day and get all dramatic about how your life is in the crapper and your crow's feet are noticeably deeper since yesterday and your friends don't call and didn't I JUST clean this kitchen and my knee is sore so I'm probably getting early-onset arthritis. Maybe cancer even. And no one seems to care.

So I'm ba-a-a-ck. My knee IS sore. I don't know why I'm so tired lately. Likely cancer. Let's kick our problems, real and imaginary, with a big old can of lady whoop-a**.

Monday, January 9, 2012

In the thick of it, and I'm not talking about Greek yogurt

Turning twelve in Spain...the beginning of the end (there was A LOT of sullen gelato-eating)

I had started this lovely, esoteric post about what we learn from our mothers about music; how this teaches us larger lessons about life, beauty, identity, joy. [Triggered by a sudden memory of my mother, butt-long red hair swaying, belting out Linda Ronstadt in our living room full of ferns and antiques.]

But today is not the day for these musings. Today I'm in the thick of it and all attempts at abstraction and philosophy are crumbling in the face of cold, hard reality. Caving in like Kirstie Alley at a dessert buffet.

I was up with a child who had appendicitis-type stomach pains (or a brilliantly-acted impersonation of them) all night, and so, even when I was finally able to soothe him to sleep, I spent the early morning hours half awake and uneasy. I was ready to run to the ER with my Gene Simmons-smeared makeup. Is it bad that I worried about what I would wear for a 3am ER run? Something warm and comfortable that didn't say, "I am a homeless crack addict"?

Today a sick day gave us time to review school grades and I discovered whole swaths of missing assignments. Apparently when you're a twelve-year old boy your brain can go MIA for days at a time and parents have to send search parties to get it back. There were tears and threats and fist-banging and that was before I even called the kid into my office.

Someone said that a mother can never be happier than her least happy child. I would add to this that mothers cannot have an "A" day if her kid is getting a "D". I don't feel good unless all is well with my children. Fathers are so annoyingly exempt from this torture.

Beyond this, our house feels chaotic. There are balls being dropped. Roles being reversed and then reversed back without warning. Who is responsible for what keeps changing. All I'm sure of today is that my job is to do everything that no one else gets done. I feel like a tractor trawling the sand on the beach for forgotten responsibilities, missed appointments, and unpaid bills.

I feel like the lone fireman in a family of arsonists.

Happy, happy Monday to me.

Click here to read about the last time I faced the infamous 12-year old male species!


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