Monday, November 29, 2010

Absence has made you love me more

I can trace my internet absence directly back to the day I began streaming Netflix live (shakes fist in the direction of Netflix headquarters).

Two hundred episodes into 30 Rock, I began dreaming as Liz Lemon (she's such an anti-hero and yet everyone claims to relate to does she DO that?)
A personal high point was the episode where her Mexican Sabor de Soledad chips caused a false-positive pregnancy test because they were flavored with bull semen.

Also a must: the jury duty and "night cheese" clips here (although a huge fan of night cheese, I had never thought to give a name to that particular activity...)

In other world news, I scored a fabulous (and dirt cheap) antique Italian bed on Craigslist (see this previous intriguing post about teen son room re-do). Yes, that's right. An antique Italian bed for a teenage boy. It looks like an Italian grandmother's deathbed, minus crucifix nailed into chipping plaster above headboard.

I won't tell him, but the kid looks a little like Liberace propped up on pillows and surrounded by his dogs. Don't worry, I'm going to paint a wall black and get him some Weezer know, man it up a bit. So Novogratz of me, don't you think?

And of course I've been both auctioneering and auctionee-ing. El Hombre de Ascot (from my racially-charged and controversial last auction report) made an appearance as a shadow of his former self. His ascot hung limply at his neck and his cheap romance novel hair was lifeless and more gray than I remembered. He didn't even try to bid against me in an effort to reinforce gender and cultural stereotyping. I guess his machismo has left the building. I recommend a bag of Sabor de Soledad.

And, possibly most interesting, is my transformation from cute hair person to Ringo Starr/Hasidic Jew in four short weeks. Short-haired people like me live in a dangerous world, walking a fine line between cute and absurd. Mere millimeters of hair away from ugly every day. Pray for us. For despite our heroic appearance, we suffer from self-doubt and unattractive side-poufs constantly.

Here is a picture of me and Ringo at the park just the other day:

(I'm just kidding...and this picture is from a actual Hasidic Jews were harmed in the making of this dumb joke).

So it's your turn to embellish mundane activities for our entertainment. What have you been up to? Do tell!


  1. i have been caught in the world of veronica mars instant netflix. fun side bonus, filmed in san diego and we know all the spots well.

    my hair and yours, lady. it is a problem.

  2. As the boys may have reported, we went to streaming Netflix this weekend. I'm currently watching 'Bones' from the beginning. Watched 'Vanity Fair' (love period pieces) and 'Adventures of Ocie Nash' (forgettable). I'll be shaking my fist at Netflix by the end of the week, for sure!

  3. Welcome to the wonderful world of Netflix. The choices are endless. Funny thing is how bummed i get when I have to actually send discs in and wait for them to come in the mail. It's so archaic. lol

  4. i'm with scgamester. i expect everything to be at my fingertips. Tudors was a guilty 48 hours of pleasure, in between waiting for discs of Mad Men. i turned my 13 year old onto Quantum Leap which is a great source of pride and i also have to sing the praises of live streaming on the wii so the little kids can watch go! diego GO! while momma rots her brain watching Bones on the is good, real good.

  5. Anonymous, waaaaiiiiiit a minute...I'm real slow with the techno mean you're streaming Netflix thru the Wii (like I am) and simultaneously streaming Netflix on your laptop? Is there, like, a thing you have to do or am I just retarded?

    Also, Quantum Leap fans here..big time

    Jamie-Veronica Mars soundtracks are the best! Also, they make SDSU look like an Ivy League college which cracks me up.

  6. nothing special, set the children up with baby einstein (or the last air bender) and then go to the watch instantly tab, pick your poison and play. sometimes the connection is interrupted on the wii, but as long as nothing comes between me and scott bakula, all is well. the kids can suffer.

  7. Oh MoNo, should've known it was you! Thanks...I wanna kiss you hard on the forehead for the Netflix tip.
    Night cheese and Netflix...ahhhhh. Is it nighttime yet??


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