Monday, October 25, 2010

Please allow me to (re)introduce myself...

Let's get reacquainted, kay?
I like long walks in wheelchairs (I'm not a vegetarian, but I am a sedentarian) and telling you things.

Have you ever been seized by the desire to waltz around the room at the end of The Darjeeling Limited? It's because of this song. My friends just used it for their wedding dance. Primo choice, guys. Although you were a little hard to see from where you sat me...at the table farthest away from you. I have a feeling that when planning the seating chart you referred to table 13 as "the loud table." Possibly, "the obnoxiously loud table." Whatevs bridezilla. I saw you laying face-down on the dancefloor. I am unfamiliar with that particular dance move. You'll have to teach me when you get back...



The color green was obviously invented for redheads. So, suck it blondie.



Mmmmm, tuna on toast. My secret weapon. If people stop by and you have sourdough bread, cans of tuna, cheese, and lemon, you can feed them. Assemble and broil. A whole tray. Hey, where are you going? I said when people stop by. Geez, fattie.



I'm a sucker for sick humor. Super-sick. Like, bubonic plague sick.



This "inspirational poster" is so much better than the puppy/kitten ones hanging in junior high counseling offices worldwide (how is a kitten telling me to "hang in there" going to help me grow boobs or pass algebra II ??!!)



Now you go. What's up my fine ladyfriends? Let me guess...you're thinking about trying to lose some weight, and...would really like to find a good book to read. Right? Am I right??

1 comment:

Do you have something to say? I'd love to hear it...

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails