So my 37th year of life is coming to a close in a few months. Wow, that sounds so much sadder than it really is! I've always heard women say that they liked their 30s but really came into their own in their 40s. While I'm not (at all) wanting to rush the last 2+ years of my 30s, I think I have some sense of why women say this.
In my 37th year so many things seemed to finally fall into place for me. I understand things clearly that I didn't before and have a sense of calm and peace that grounds me despite my angst-y, searching nature. Some people might call this "having perspective."
I'm not, and am never going to be, "angry mom".
Sometimes I am tired mom. Sometimes I am cranky mom. But I'm not angry. I think my kids are hilarious and sweet, and it's never, ever their fault if I'm feeling badly. They not only have my love, but my unconditional approval of who they are and everything that entails (including emptying the refrigerator, leaving skateboards everywhere, wrestling all over the house and knocking down furniture). I'm not saying everything they do is o.k.. I'm just saying I recognize it's "part of the package" and I accept that. It doesn't make me angry.
To some of you this comment won't make sense. But if you know angry mom, and especially if you were raised by one, you'll understand why this is important.
It's ok to serve pizza if it means everyone can come.
Pour half a bottle of Trader Joe's Citrus Vodka and a bottle of Pomegranate Limeade into a glass pitcher, squeeze in a few limes. There. It's a cocktail party. Life is too short to make fun things hard.
Pay the compliment; pay it immediately.
Sometimes I'm struck with respect or gratitude or appreciation for someone and think of just the right way to express it. It's usually in that moment just the right words come to you. Write them down. Make the call. Send the card. Before you forget. Before you have time to overthink it or become embarrassed by your sentimentality. When's the last time you rolled your eyes at an authentic and heartfelt compliment? No one will. I wrote a poem for my best friend and read it aloud at a dinner party. I still can't believe I did that.
Good shoes and bags make cheap shirts and jeans cute. Spend money on these things. Also, a scarf or big necklace turns "clothes" into "outfits".
You don't have to lose 25 pounds. Losing 3 will make you walk taller.
Don't gossip. But especially don't talk about your friends with other friends.
It makes you look small. It makes you seem childish. It suggests you have nothing better to talk about.
THE INNER PERSON:
In your secret heart, don't let the ultimate question be "But was I pretty?" or "Was I thin?"
Other people are thinner and prettier than you. Get a new ultimate question.
Some big ideas for Monday, I know! What age seemed particularly life-changing for you? I would love to hear...