Lately I've been a little distracted by the needs of my own house. It gets so little attention, and it's full of business cast-offs and things dumped "temporarily" that have become permanent due to furniture inertia.
Are you familiar with this problem? It's when you put a piece somewhere "for the time being" and it doesn't move for five years.
You know it doesn't work, that you don't even like it, but furniture inertia exerts a force more powerful than the casual decorator can face alone.
It takes an outsider to tell you that your geriatric side has taken over and turned your house into a rest home for retired Martha Stewart paint colors, unwanted credenzas, and an unfortuantely ornate upholstered headboard from the Marquis de Sade's estate sale. No, having a red light district-themed bedroom does not enhance one's marriage. I have proof.
So, I'm in the middle of a slightly manic whole-house redesign/rearrangement. I know there's a window of time here. A very small window before other needs crowd out this project and the furniture exerts its seductive power once again, establishing itself in position for another five years. The time to act is now. I will triumph. The furniture will obey.
Here is a one hour time-lapse of the dining room transformation from this weekend:
"Hi. I have dentures and drive a Lincoln Town Car. I like robin's egg blue, a color briefly popular in 2002, and Waverly drapes from (GASP!!) Bed, Bath & Beyond. I love to look at them when I've fallen and can't get up and I'm waiting for Life Alert to send an ambulance."
"You embarrass me. You can do better than this. For Pete's sake, your fake driver's license says you're only 28. Act your age!"
Add fiddleleaf fig of Jurassic proportions, and rough oatmeal linen drapes. Am I looking any younger yet? What's that you say? Even Martha is embarrassed by this paint color now?
How's this? "Raccoon Fur" by Benjie Moore (a Morgan color recommendation). Alternately referred to as Rat's A** and Coon's Anus.
Next up...Thomas Jefferson called...Monticello wants its dining set back. And maybe make a crazy light fixture. It'll be great.