I hear your cries for my leadership on this matter. So believe me, I am formulating some ridiculous thoughts to share. I am culling from the most cutting-edge research and will be prepared to disseminate my findings soon. Which is different from inseminating them, which is technically impossible (but I bet there's a lab in China where they're trying it out).
Is it global warming? My armpits say yes. I have indeed observed an increase in rank sweat flow. It can only mean one of two things: 1)the Earth is becoming hotter, or 2) I am becoming a old European man.
If, despite my personal experience you are still skeptical, here is shocking proof found buried in the research of this acclaimed researcher (government cover-up? I think so!)
You should know that the image you are about to see is graphic, and some may find it disturbing. Especially those with good taste in lawn furniture.
I'm sorry you had to see that. But now you know. Global warming is a fact, and the end is nigh.