Let's shop for vintage clothes in London today, shall we?

Not for realz, yo! My kids are sick. Otherwise, YEAH I would hop a red eye with you! Get some bangers 'n mash, molest some Queen's guard guys, hang out in some red telephone booths, meet up with Hugh Grant for a nip of whiskey and put my shopping bags in the boot of his Aston Martin. You know, what we USUALLY do when we cross the pond to shop.

Nope, today we will do it American-style, from the comfort of our own McMansions, with our coffee-not-tea, munching on our toast toasted on BOTH sides.

Alright, even I've had it with these weak racial caricatures (some of which might actually be Irish and not English [and based on lyrics by the Police], so...no, I can't even be bothered to be accurate when I'm making fun of people).

So, you ladies-who-read-blogs-thus-know-everything, you know about ASOS right? Kind of similar to ZARA, pretty affordable, purveyors of the orange pants I so unspectacularly blogged about last week?

This fancy lady(famous treehouse designer, member of the Nashville Cats all-female biker gang) got me hooked. Just like Euro cigarette smoke doesn't smell as bad as American, cheap Euro clothes are pretty superior to cheap American clothes and they're not genetically modified because of those progressive EU standards.

But guess what? I found out they have this thing called ASOS Marketplace where edgy British girls who look like they will cut you model some awesome Euro vintage clothing THAT IS FOR SALE FOR NOT A LOT OF MONEY! Most of it is in the $30-$40 range, and shipping is $10-ish.

Here are some of the highlights, but I'm telling you, I only made it to page ten of like 436 pages.

A psychadelic purple panther caftan, the must-have of the season!
The green hair thing and shoes let you know that this is not an American situation going on here...



I feel like Kelly Wearstler would try to rip this dress off your body if she saw you:



A non-traditional wedding dress maybe? For those "wine in Mason jars, bluegrass band in a barn" wedding people?



Who could not wear this dress? It would look good on everyone.



I just know this girl is in an awesome scooter gang. I'll take that body AND the amazing dress, thanks. I think this is going into my "If I ever get my boobs did" scrapbook.



Best for last? Yep. A littler spendier at about $100, as it's 60s Pierre Cardin from back when he was a thing! The details on this dress are superb. I would wear it with purple tights, but I wear purple tights with everything. You would look good in this dress until you're 80. It's just so perfect. Forgive her for not smiling...she's a little angry about the awful drooping bunting on the wall and the giant doily she's standing on.