Possible Reasons I Haven't Been Blogging

1. Abducted by aliens that wanted to harvest my mojo.

2. Writing a screenplay about my blogging experience entitled "You Have Zero Comments".

3. Was drinking coffee and sitting in front of the computer all day, so thought I WAS blogging...

4. Shopping trip to Paris, and I bought you ALL gifts!

5. Partying with Charlie Sheen. Wore him out.

6. Yacht shopping in Portofino...didn't find anything I liked.

7. Got lost in the Bermuda Triangle...again.

8. Discovered abandoned warehouse full of Danish furniture. Died of heart failure.

9. Set World's Record for most laundry done in one day.

10.Cut myself on a piece of furniture while working...contracted a rare Danish teak-borne illness. CDC quarantined me in Denmark. Saw a lot of bicycles and cured meats.

Which blogger would you...

Some blogs are super anonymous, but most of the time you get a pretty strong sense of the person behind the blog. And then you tend to draw some conclusions. "Good mother", "funny and smart", "alcoholic". That sort of thing.
So I thought it would be fun to end the year with a game of "Which blogger would you--"Feel free to re-post and play the game on your own blog, or give your answers in the comments.

SO, which blogger would you...
-let re-decorate your house while you were away?
Brick House. I trust that she would take cues from my existing design and inject some of her own.




-travel out of the country with?
Bink & Boo. She seems kind, cool, funny, and laid-back. And she likes to thrift and poke through vintage stuff, so I think we'd agree on the itnerary.

-leave your kids with?
Nonchalant Mom and Soule Mama. Despite her name I think NM is chalant. Very chalant. She would make sure of the tooth-brushing and homework. While Soule Mama would make them go outside and climb trees (but so, probably, would NM).

-want for a big sister?
The big sister of all lifestyle blogs, of course. Joanna Goddard/Cup of Jo. She's cool (but never too-cool-for-school), sweet, knows lots about lots, is well-connected, and would probably be so much fun to stay up all night talking with.




-hire to throw you a party?
Oh Happy Day! She's always putting together these intimate little dinner parties in unexpected locations (a beach under the Golden Gate Bridge, for instance).

-want in your book club?A Bloomsbury Life. Duh. I love how she finds modern parallels in dusty old novels.

-want to give you her wardrobe?
Bleubird Vintage. Maybe someone else's wardrobe is more expensive and modern, but Bleubird is closest to the way I actually like to dress.

-want to be for a day?
This one is hard. Since it's only for a day, you want to choose someone with a drastically different life. Something you couldn't experience on your own.
My Marrakesh, I think. Definitely someone raising kids as an expat, running a cool little business from an exotic locale. Yes. Yes, yes, yes!




Tell us your answers. We'd love to know! Maybe you'll turn us all on to something new...




photo credits: Tongue in Cheek, pret a voyager, Oliver Webber, My Marrakesh

Fashion HAUS

If there's one question I get here at Modernhaus more than, "Why are you so mean?", it would have to be, "Can you share your fashion tips with us?"
I really try to keep the focus on my writing and furniture/design business, but I know that I can't hide my status as a fashion icon forever.

While I was laying face down in the dirt this morning trying to remove the leg from a refinishing project and barely missed rolling into Mr. Knightly's...ahem, deposits, I was suddenly struck with the thought that people really need to know how I dress for such a glamorous life.

Anatomy of a MODERNHAUS wardrobe:

First, forget the obvious. You don't need to shop for new clothes. In fact, to get the true MODERNHAUS look, you shouldn't buy anything new for at least seven years. Your wardrobe should be loosely divided into three main categories, based on common activities:
1) pajamas
2) painting and refinishing
3) church

There are a lot of crossover opportunities here, so you should learn to look for the multiple uses of an item. For instance, I have a brown cardigan that, when belted, works beautifully for church. Then I come home and unbelt it, layer it with pajamas, cover it with dust, and voila! refinishing outfit!

Another trick is to frequently gain and lose a lot of weight so that you can "shop" your own closet. Here at MODERNHAUS, I find at least one of these strategies exceedingly easy to accomplish. Have an assortment of sizes available, which means you'll have to resist the urge to give away maternity and "post baby" fat clothes.

Try to limit yourself to buying one key piece per year. This year, I chose some $7 clearance flesh-toned Penguin yoga pants as my wardrobe addition. Amazingly, they go with just about anything and are appropriate for nearly all activities. I knew I had made a good choice when my husband commented that they could "stand on their own". Well, actually I thought he meant they looked so good, they could stand on their own without accessories. But he clarified by saying that, no, I had worn them so much that they really could stand up on their own by now, and probably knew their way around the house, too. This is the great thing about only buying one key piece per year. You'll be so excited by the garment, you'll be able to come up with a million different ways to wear it all week long!

Now for you visual people, I'd like to provide a guided tutorial based directly on what, in fact, I put on this morning. This is no joke-I truly do come up with outfits just like this EVERY morning and you can too if you just know how!



Pants: baggy, "vintage" GAP, strategically distressed between the thighs, missing waistband hardware, grass stained, and rolled up unevenly to properly expose unshaven white legs (this also gives you that Sartorialist/custom look!)
Don't you love how I made them look all sassy with that kicked-out leg? Maybe I should stand like that....

Undergarments: an unecessary distraction/indulgence

Top(s): "vintage" Old Navy ('cuz the only thing better than Old Navy is OLD Old Navy) topped by "vintage" Target tank for warmth and to camouflage undergarment choices for the sake of the FedEx guy(tank may also be used for jacuzzi-wear later in the evening if, like me, the last time you bought a bikini was pre-baby...crossover opportunities, people!)

Footwear: water shoes originally purchased for rafting trip in Costa Rica, because nothing says "success" like wearing shoes you can hose off at the end of the day!

Accessories: the one earring you went to bed wearing, after taking the other one off to talk on the phone several days ago. Symmetry is totally predictable, no?

So, I hope you've learned a little about how to put together a great outfit, MODERNHAUS-style. I'm here to inspire. You're welcome.

Now to put my clothes back on....

The Men in My Laundry

One morning several years ago my phone rang. Back then, I probably had to pick up the phone with my foot, knock it to the floor, and poke the "speaker" button with my big toe, since during that time, if I was conscious I was breastfeeding and managing a toddler tantrum. I remember clearly the sounds on the other end of the line, though. A gurgly, choking sob, and then the words, "the laundry..." Imagine the way Marlon Brando says, "the horror, the horror!" in Apocalypse Now and you get the picture.

It was my friend who had managed to have herself four boys in a row. Yep, laundry's a...bummer.

Now, this is not an aspirational blog. I'm not gonna presume to know more about laundry than you, or tell you what products to use. In fact, I just fished dead leaves and bugs out of the bottom of my Costco vat-o-detergent so I could do one more load before I had to go out and buy more.

The week I decided to "sprinkle" our laundry with lavender oil, we all looked like we had been eating greasy pizza, very carelessly.

And, during the Great Clothesline Experiment of '07, my son asked me one day if I could buy him a new gym uniform that "didn't hurt". I almost severed a finger while folding the bathtowels. Yes, our laundry had all the softness and comfort of failed papier mache projects.

But, I do have a certain unique perspective to offer on laundry...one you may not have considered before. For instance, did you know that each load has a unique personality? Oh yes, I've identified several here at our house. It's really dependent upon what tumbles out when you open the dryer door.

For instance, there is "the Executive". He likes to throw a lot of money around and make sure his expensive pens and important business receipts get a good washing. Oh, and those plastic points that keep his shirt collars stiff? You'll be stepping on those for days. Have you met the Executive? I'll bet he's been to your house, too.

Another frequent visitor to our laundry is a real Bad Boy. I call him "the Artist". Chalk, crayons, permanent marker...it's not the medium that's important, it's the message, man. And the message is that someone will be needing a lot of new clothes when the Artist pays a visit.

And finally, I always look forward to the new treasures that "the Collector" brings with him. Rocks, video game cartridges, avocado pits, granola bars....the Collector is as interesting as he is indiscriminate in his collecting.

Now, some of you may be asking, "Why doesn't she just empty out their pockets?" To which I respond in a really bad British accent, "Not bloody likely!"

Who visits you in the laundry room?

I Am the Boss of You

Dear friends,

Are you still buried in snow? I feel your pain...I just had to put on a cardigan here in San Diego. It's a cruel world.

I'll be in Palm Springs this weekend, covering the Modernism Week just for you (and a little bit for me). Don't forget to check back for photos and juicy details.

I wish you a warm, safe, and peaceful weekend. Here are some suggestions for passing the time, should you need it:

READ THIS! The third Lonny Magazine is now online (you must know about it by now-the brainchild of fabulous, defunct Domino magazine editors, etc.) It is SOOOO good.

MAKE THIS! You think you don't like bread pudding OR pumpkin, hmmm? Get back to me about that after you've whipped up this beauty. And MAKE THE SAUCE, lazy bones!

LISTEN TO THIS! Ridiculously charming, sweet, and beautiful music. These girls either make me yearn for my own girlhood, or to have my own daughters.....can't tell which, but I yearn when I listen! Their version of Fleet Foxes' Tiger Mountain Peasant Song made me bust a tear duct.

WATCH THIS! So you like French men, French food, French country houses, important antiques, the elite world of auction houses, those mesmerizing creatures that are French children, and French men serving their wives food? Oh, and a kick-booty soundtrack? Voila! Someone put it all together into this incredibly charming movie.

I'll miss you my darlings!