So my 37th year of life is coming to a close in a few months. Wow, that sounds so much sadder than it really is! I've always heard women say that they liked their 30s but really came into their own in their 40s. While I'm not (at all) wanting to rush the last 2+ years of my 30s, I think I have some sense of why women say this.
In my 37th year so many things seemed to finally fall into place for me. I understand things clearly that I didn't before and have a sense of calm and peace that grounds me despite my angst-y, searching nature. Some people might call this "having perspective."
PARENTHOOD:
I'm not, and am never going to be, "angry mom".
Sometimes I am tired mom. Sometimes I am cranky mom. But I'm not angry. I think my kids are hilarious and sweet, and it's never, ever their fault if I'm feeling badly. They not only have my love, but my unconditional approval of who they are and everything that entails (including emptying the refrigerator, leaving skateboards everywhere, wrestling all over the house and knocking down furniture). I'm not saying everything they do is o.k.. I'm just saying I recognize it's "part of the package" and I accept that. It doesn't make me angry.
To some of you this comment won't make sense. But if you know angry mom, and especially if you were raised by one, you'll understand why this is important.
ENTERTAINING:
It's ok to serve pizza if it means everyone can come.
Pour half a bottle of Trader Joe's Citrus Vodka and a bottle of Pomegranate Limeade into a glass pitcher, squeeze in a few limes. There. It's a cocktail party. Life is too short to make fun things hard.
RELATIONSHIPS:
Pay the compliment; pay it immediately.
Sometimes I'm struck with respect or gratitude or appreciation for someone and think of just the right way to express it. It's usually in that moment just the right words come to you. Write them down. Make the call. Send the card. Before you forget. Before you have time to overthink it or become embarrassed by your sentimentality. When's the last time you rolled your eyes at an authentic and heartfelt compliment? No one will. I wrote a poem for my best friend and read it aloud at a dinner party. I still can't believe I did that.
FASHION:
Good shoes and bags make cheap shirts and jeans cute. Spend money on these things. Also, a scarf or big necklace turns "clothes" into "outfits".
BODY IMAGE:
You don't have to lose 25 pounds. Losing 3 will make you walk taller.
LOYALTY:
Don't gossip. But especially don't talk about your friends with other friends.
It makes you look small. It makes you seem childish. It suggests you have nothing better to talk about.
THE INNER PERSON:
In your secret heart, don't let the ultimate question be "But was I pretty?" or "Was I thin?"
Other people are thinner and prettier than you. Get a new ultimate question.
Some big ideas for Monday, I know! What age seemed particularly life-changing for you? I would love to hear...
i absolutely love your "perspective". thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting so I could find your lovely blog and the charming Ramona, who wears a vintage scarf like she was born to it!
DeleteAnd...boob juice!!! Woot woot!
I love this post. I actually was thinking about my own birthday post since today is my 33rd birthday (!) I especially love the point of giving the compliment immediately. I can't tell you how many times I want to call someone or send a sweet note, and then a few days pass and I never do. Something to keep in mind this year as the days seem to race by even faster than they ever have before.
ReplyDeleteYou, darlin', are an 'early bloomer'. Such perspective as yours was not granted me until the 47th big one. **wild applause for you, from me**. Now that I will be saying goodbye to 57 in a few weeks, I can honestly tell you that you're the wisest, and most amusing, blogger on my favorites list. Your decor skills are awesome, but you, the one behind that, are awesomer by superscript magnitudes.
ReplyDeleteL
L, you ever gonna tell me who you are?
DeleteI am bowing to your applause and blushing at your praise, and the Superscript Magnitudes is the name of my new imaginary girl band/clothing line.
Abrazos.
1. I'm totally doing the vodka-and-limeade thing at my next party.
ReplyDelete2. Thanks for the reminder about perspective. For me, 34 is coming to a close, and it's nice to have a little head-start :)
Happy birthday! This was a great post. I'm one of those weird people who likes getting older, since I seem to get over myself more each year. Thanks for giving 37 a renewed sheen ;)
ReplyDelete"I seem to get over myself more each year"....perfectly sums it up!
DeleteHappy Almost Birthday! Yes to all of it! I used to be "anxious mom" in my youth, but could see that wasn't good for anyone and have spent my 30's turning that shit around....everyone is happier. Moving to a new city was a great time to change the things that seemed harder to tackle when everything else remained the same...it was a time for fresh starts and we got a more fulfilled family life out of it. You're definitely set for your 40's already!
ReplyDeleteThe lady with the Lego ping pong net has obviously figured out quite a lot about life. In the next life I'm going to be your kid!
DeleteIt IS much harder to do a life remodel than just a total tear-down.
Maybe I should join you and become a Nashville Cat too...
We'd welcome you with cocktails (even though you don't need a tear down)!
Delete